he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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