I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
