And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
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Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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