I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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