She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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