I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
