are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?