so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
