Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
