girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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