She said her name was "party"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize