He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
