what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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