I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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