He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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