I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize