mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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