You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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