Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
operation have a gay friend backfired
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
