Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize