sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
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We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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