I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
