I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
