This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
