You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize