The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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