just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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