I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Terrible idea I love it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
