Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
please come you make the beer taste better
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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