I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize