What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
