i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
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She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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