sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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