Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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