Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize