Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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