we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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