Ambien. No doubt about it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
