Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
