I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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