If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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