I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize