im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize