so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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