is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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