Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize