Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
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What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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