I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
