So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
