i jhust puked up my retainher.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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